Gaucho

GAUCHO

Cuisine: Argentine

Nearest tube: Picadilly Circus

Address: 25 Swallow Street, W1B 4QR

Tel: 020 7734 4040

This is the best thing I've put in my mouth for months.

The simple steak has taken some serious abuse over the years. We've all witnessed those heartbreaking occasions when we've ordered a steak in a non-steak restaurant, and for the resultant flaccid, incinerated lump of leather to make us weep with despair. I say: enough is enough. Let's go to Gaucho, and stop this madness.

Gaucho is where cows want to go when they die. Gaucho is steak heaven.

Tucked away in a trendy back alley in Picadilly Circus, Gaucho is the antithesis of the crude and generic Aberdeen Angus steak house. It has the air of a speakeasy - a fashionable secret only shared amongst London's elite diners. Coolly understated on the outside, you wouldn't look twice if you walked past it on the street, so it's a safe haven away from the usual mass of braying tourists that populate restaurants in the area.

On the door are bouncers, who usher you into a dimly lit, uber-cool reception area. The interior feels like an exclusive nightclub, with sharply-dressed staff on hand to help whisk your coats off to a cloakroom. Access to the restaurant itself is somewhat convulated: first you get past the bouncers, then you speak to the receptionist, who sends you upstairs to meet the host, who will finally introduce you to your waiter as you are seated in your cow-hide chairs.

Moo

This is where the fun begins. Upon arrival, your waiter will swoop over to your table wielding a huge oak platter laden with slabs of raw meat. What follows is a five-minute presentation on the various cuts of steak and their relative merits, how to have it cooked, what it goes best with, and so on. This can be a little overwhelming, as I was mostly staring open-mouthed at the steaks and drooling slightly with a glazed look in my eyes as the information went straight over my head.

Truth be told, whatever you pick will be superb. It is, without a shadow of a doubt, the finest steak I have ever had the privilege of tasting in my entire life. So far I have had the rump and the rib-eye, and both were utterly magnificent. Cooked to absolute perfection, there is no need for the customary extra-sharp 'steak knife' - the humble table knife will suffice is gliding through the flesh like it were butter.

And when you taste it - man alive. My mouth is starting to water just thinking about it. The texture is almost marshmallow-like in its tenderness. It is bursting with flavour, lightly seasoned to coax out the full meaty joy that captivates your tastebuds. Every mouthful I ate was accompanied by a sigh of joy, and a quiet moment of reflection about how no meat has ever, or will ever live up to the brilliance of a Gaucho steak.

If you hadn't got the message by now, the steak is the main event here. Starters are well-crafted but overpriced - my pan-fried baby squid with aubergine caviar, chorizo, black olives and lime dressing was certainly full of flavour but hardly warranted a £9.95 price tag. Likewise, the shrimp salad and Empanadas were expensive and also somewhat uninspiring. I'd recommend leaving the starters altogether.

Steaks come in 225g, 300g and 400g. The smaller size will be plenty when augmented with a few side dishes, which are fine accompaniments to the meat. The chips are thin, rustic and crisp, the spinach with garlic and lemon is perfectly cooked, the sauteed selection of field mushrooms are wonderfully earthy, even the mixed leaf salad is colourful and fresh. I probably overdid it by adding sweet potato chips with chorizo, but hey, when in Rome.

There are some fine dessert options to conclude your meal, the cheesecake with dulce de leche, coffee biscuit and chocolate sauce being particularly outstanding. Even the coffee is superb here. The service is attentive and informative, if sometimes a little overbearing, but it's all part of the experience. The waiters are well-trained, enthusiastic and always on hand to help, a cut above the rest, and definitely enhance the experience. There is the warm, fuzzy feeling of being well-looked after, which is all too often absent in restaurants these days. 

As far as the price goes, it ain't cheap, but you truly get what you pay for here. For the quality of the food, I can heartily commend this as being good value. The steaks go from £13 (225g rump) to £38 (400g fillet) but when you taste it, you will understand that it is worth every penny. 

From top to bottom, Gaucho is a delight, and a truly fantastic dining experience.

Service 5/5

Food 5/5

Value 3/5

Ambience 4/5

Total: 17/20

Why you should go there: The best steak on the planet.

Don’t leave without trying: Any of the steaks.